Review: Mamma Mia! the Movie

#143 - Mamma Mia! the Movie

Mamma Mia! is a movie based on the Broadway musical, which is based on music from the band ABBA. It focuses on Donna, an eccentric hotel owner on an island in Greece. Her daughter, Sofie, is getting married, but there's one problem: she doesn't have her dad to walk her down the aisle. Why doesn't she have her dad to walk her down the aisle? She doesn't know who her dad is! She finds her mother's diary and invites the three men who could possibly be her father. Chaos ensues once Donna discovers her three ex-lovers are on the island at the same time.

The only reason I own this movie is for the music. I love it...oh, that and the fact that Colin Firth is in it.

He's just absolute perfection in its most British and beautiful form.

Other than the music, the movie is absolute garbage. The acting is cheesy, half of the cast can't sing, and the directorial choices are awful. Which means it's a perfect representation of the Broadway show, because that is garbage as well. I'm very disappointed that a musical that has such amazing songs to work with ended up being so dumb. It's fun to watch, but once Pierce Brosnan starts singing, I want to rip my eardrums out. I mean honestly, if you pinned him and Russell Crowe in a competition against each other for who has the worst voice, it would be a very difficult answer to come to! The only reason he was cast in this film was because he's very easy on the eyes. I also have to say how nauseous it makes me to hear the vibrato at the end of EVERY SINGLE ONE of Amanda Seyfried's notes. Ughhhh. Just stop.

I hate to bash Mamma Mia! because the music always puts me in such a good mood, but the writers of this screenplay need to hang up the towel and move on. The concept is good (and that is thanks to the Broadway show), but cheesy[ness] of the scenes and the odd choices made by the director make it hard to watch the film. One thing that really drives me insane is whether or not I'm supposed to know the ensemble is there or not. During 2-3 of the scenes, the Greek...cleaning crew?...says something, and Donna turns around and acts as if no one is there. However, later on, she's singing to them and inviting them to the wedding and having them set the places at the tables. It's very odd...or I might as well say "It's all very Greek."


Overall, I give Mamma Mia! the Movie 2 out of 5 stars, and that is only because I get to look at Colin Firth alongside the beautiful scenery of Greece for two hours.

Review: The Lucky One

#142 - The Lucky One


The Lucky One is a film in the never-ending list of movies created by Nicholas Sparks. It is about a Marine that discovers a guardian angel in the form of a photograph while he is at war. He sets out to find the woman in the photograph, and he finds much more than that: he finds a home.

In the past, I was always excited for the next Nicholas Sparks movie to come out, but recently I've been hesitant to jump to the theater to see one. They've really been hit or miss, and this one is closer to the 'miss' side of the spectrum. Don't get me wrong, Zac Efron is a dreamboat, but with this character, he's very bland and boring. He creeps around in this small town, where the only character who reacts logically to this newcomer is the crazy, abusive ex-husband, Keith. He questions where Logan (Efron's character) came from and why he has taken a particular interest in Beth and her son. The way Logan's character is written, it doesn't give Efron any room to actually act. He just walks around aimlessly and broods into the camera. It's sigh-worthy at first, but then it just becomes too repetitive and uninteresting. Plus, to have a beautiful man such as Zac Efron running around killing people in a war, it is not believable. They didn't even rough him up to fit in with the guys around him; they just kept him as the Greek god he is, but slapped him into a military uniform with a gun. All I could focus on were his bright blue eyes. It was not good.

As for the plot, you can pinpoint exactly when the story is going to take a turn for the worst, and then it happens, and you're like "I told ya so." Very ironic that Beth's grandmother says the very same line to her half way through the film.

Overall, it will make women everywhere swoon at the sight of Zac Efron and cry for days at the beautiful love story, but for me, it makes me roll my eyes. I wish Nicholas Sparks would get back to making movies like The Notebook and A Walk to Remember. Those are his gems. I have never met a person EVER who has said they didn't love those two films. Suggestion for you, Mr. Sparks:  A BEND IN THE ROAD. Make it into a movie...NOW. It will be a hit; I promise you that.


I give The Lucky One 2.5 out of 5 stars.

Review: Love Actually

#141 - Love Actually

Love Actually is an adorable romantic comedy intersecting several people's love lives into one story. It deals with the ups and downs of love, and how some people find their happy endings, while others do not.

Let me just get this out of the way:

This is the moral of the entire film...

Like no joke. There are like 9 or 10 different stories all wound into one large plot: "Love actually is all around." Some of the stories end happily and the others do not. Some work out easily and, again, others do not. It's the way of the world, and that's what I love about this film. It really hits the reality of what it's like to be in love or search for love - from a young age to your senior years. The characters span from an innocent child to a busted up old rock star. It's truly phenomenal to watch all of the stories weave together in the end. It's writing at an incredibly genius level. It's great.

The only criticism I have for the film is the American story. This guy, Colin, thinks that he's not getting a girlfriend because he needs to go to America. He is convinced that he will find hot women in some random bar in the middle of nowhere. Out of all the places in America to fly to, he chooses Wisconsin. Like WTF? It's funny when you really think about it, because seriously what are the chances of him finding a mega hot woman to have sex with him in the middle of Wisconsin...but he does. He finds four women at the bar, and two more women later (whom he brings back to England with him). The casting is awful for the American women. It actually ruins sections of the movie when they're on screen. I really wish that the writers/director would've chosen to just cut out the America story line completely. It really had no relevance at all with everything else that was happening in the movie. When Shannon Elizabeth and Denise Richards show up at the airport at the very end with those god awful Southern accents, I want to shoot myself. He was in Wisconsin. Why the heck do they have such deep Southern accents? It makes no sense at all. It's a British romantic comedy...keep it British, thank you very much.

Overall, I love this movie, and it is one that I watch every single Christmas. It has Colin Firth, Hugh Grant, Alan Rickman, and Martin freaking Freeman in it. What's not to love?

I give Love Actually 4.5 out of 5 stars.

Review: The Little Mermaid

#140 - The Little Mermaid

The Little Mermaid is a 1989 Disney film about the journey of a 16-year-old mermaid princess named Ariel. She longs for what is above the ocean, and is obsessed with anything strange and out of the ordinary from the humans. One day, a ship wrecks and she saves a young prince named Eric. She falls immediately in love with him, but must retreat back to the safety of the ocean before anyone notices her. When her father, King Triton, forbids Ariel to go above the surface again and talk to humans, she takes drastic measures and forms a binding contract with the sea witch, Ursula. Ursula steals Ariel's voice and gives Ariel three days to get Eric to fall in love with her and kiss her. If Ariel can get Eric to kiss her by sunset on the third day, Ariel will forever be a human. If not, she will return to her life as a mermaid.
Ariel's mission is going as planned, and that is not to Ursula's liking. She hypnotizes Eric into believing she was the woman who saved him after the shipwreck, and he orders for them to be married at once. Ariel's friends, Scuttle, Sebastian, and Flounder, seek the help of King Triton to defeat the sea witch. Ursula puts up a fight, but it ends in her demise. King Triton grants Ariel her human legs, and the prince and the princess live happily ever after.

This is one of my top five favorite Disney movies. It has arguably the best music out of any Disney movie EVER, and it has an adorable lead character that you can't help but love. The thing I like the most about The Little Mermaid is that Ariel reacts to situations the way an actual 16-year-old would react. When her father tells her she can't have her way, she explodes and goes to extremes to get her prince. Typical teenage girl reaction. A lot of people criticize the fact that Eric falls in love with a girl he barely knows in three days...a girl he barely knows because she can't speak! However, he falls in love with HER, not her voice. He can tell that she is a caring and fun person without having to hear her utter a word. If you want to get really technical, he's searching for the girl with the voice the entire film. That's why he hesitates to kiss Ariel. So, in all actuality, he really falls in love with Ariel once the entire package is there. That sounds kind of shallow, but whatever. It's a Disney movie, and people fall in love and get married within a few days. Get over it. Deal with it.

I don't really have anything bad to say about this movie. I didn't realize how short it was until I just re-watched it. Short and sweet. Love it.


I give The Little Mermaid 5 out of 5 stars.

Review: The Lion King

#139 - The Lion King

The Lion King is a tale of discovering who you truly are. Simba loses his father at a very young age, and he is banished to live alone in the desert. While on the verge of death, he encounters Timon and Pumbaa: a meerkat and a boar that befriend little Simba. Years later, Simba's friend, Nala, finds him while searching for food. She tells him that his uncle, Scar, has taken over the Pridelands, and there is no more food or water. Simba makes his triumphant return and defeats Scar - discovering that he wasn't the one that caused his father's death, Scar deliberately killed Mufasa. Simba takes his rightful place as King, and the Pridelands are returned to their original splendor.

This is one of the best Disney movies ever made. It's not only visually stunning, but the story is moving, and the songs are catchy and uplifting. Sure they steal the basic story line from Shakespeare's Hamlet, but Disney puts its own twist on it that makes it fresh and new. You have one of the greatest heroes: Simba, arguably the best sidekicks: Timon and Pumbaa, and one of the most wicked villains: Scar. You honestly can't go wrong with this film. The research that went into the movements of the animals and the look/feel of the settings was impeccable. It's not hard to see why this is still one of the most beloved Disney films.

The writing is genius. Just when it starts to seem like it's going to drag, they introduce the comic relief.

And just when it seems like it's going to head down the boring path again, they introduce the crazy monkey, and Simba finds his true purpose.

I just can't give high enough praise to The Lion King. I mean, look at Scar...he's just too fabulous for words.

Jeremy Irons (the voice of Scar) sings what is, quite possibly, the best Disney villain song...and top 10 Disney song in general..."Be Prepared".

I remember when this movie first released. I was 10 years old, and in love with Jonathan Taylor Thomas (the voice of young Simba). That is totally what sold me on going to see this in theatres. Now that I'm older, I am obsessed with Matthew Broderick and Nathan Lane (the voices of Adult Simba and Timon respectively), so that's what hooks me to the songs and the story. The one thing I don't understand is why they didn't have Matthew Broderick sing the Adult Simba songs? Broderick is a big Broadway star now...he has an amazing voice. Oh well, I get my fill of phenomenal talent by listening to Nathan Lane. 

Overall, you can't get much better than Lion King. Not gonna lie - it's not my favorite, but it is definitely one of my top 5. I get wrapped up in the whole Disney princess thing, so I apologize for not giving this movie a higher ranking. *It's my husband's #1 though!

I give The Lion King 5 out of 5 stars.

Review: Lilo and Stitch

#138 - Lilo and Stitch

Lilo and Stitch is the first Disney movie to focus on the Polynesian culture in Hawaii. Lilo is a little girl who lives with her sister, and all she wants is to find a friend. Stitch is an alien creation that crash lands on Earth when running away from the Galactic Federation. Even though Stitch was programmed to destroy everything in its path, he falls in love with Lilo. They both find a friend in the most unlikely of places. 

This movie is cute, but it gets kind of boring about half-way through. I hate to say it, but it starts to drag when Stitch stops causing trouble. Lilo is hilarious in the beginning when she gets in trouble too. The scene when she's super dramatic and says "Leave me alone to die" while listening to Elvis - it's hilarious. I was actually more interested in searching for hidden Disney references than I was in what was going on in the story. I'd bop along to the Elvis songs, and laugh when Stitch would try to act human, but then it got lame again. I can't deny though that the "Ohana means family" tugs at my heart strings. Like I said, it's a cute film. That's about it.

Overall, I give Lilo and Stitch 3 out of 5 stars.

Review: License to Wed

#137 - License to Wed

License to Wed is a romantic comedy that challenges the idea of being ready for marriage. Sadie and Ben are the perfect couple. When Ben pops the question at Sadie's parents' 30th anniversary gathering, it's like something out of a fairy-tale. That is, until Sadie insists on getting married at her family's church, and Reverend Frank steps into the picture. Reverend Frank forces the couple to take his marriage preparation course to prove that they are indeed ready to take a walk down the aisle. The course is something that Sadie and Ben were not prepared for - challenging everything that they thought they knew about each other. It ultimately splits them apart, making them rethink the path they have chosen. In the end, Reverend Frank's course opens their eyes to how much they love one another, and that the most important thing in the world to Sadie and Ben is each other.

This movie is a diamond in the rough. Let me tell you. There are not many people I know who have seen this film, and boy are they missing out. It's absolutely hilarious. I can honestly say that I think it's one of Robin Williams' best comedic performances. Add in a giant heap of adorably awkward John Krasinski and super sweet Mandy Moore, and you have yourself a great movie.

I think one of my favorite aspects of the story is when Reverend Frank forces Sadie and Ben into a parenting class. He gives them the two most ridiculously disgusting living dolls to take care of, and it couldn't be anymore disastrous. Ben ends up smacking one of the babies' heads on a glass case in a department store, resulting in the head popping off...it's perfect. I don't have any kids, but I'm a teacher, and I've watched my nieces and nephews before, and for an adult being thrown into a situation like that for the first time, it can be completely overwhelming. All you want is for that crying baby to shut up, so when Ben shakes it and slam dunks it into the case, it's crying from laughter-worthy. Nothing shows how fed-up Ben is with Reverend Frank's marriage course more than the scene in Macy's with the babies.

Now, the film is not all laughs and fun. Sadie and Ben's marriage gets really rocky, and Sadie calls off the wedding. This is the problem I have with the story. If Sadie is perfect for Ben, then wouldn't she also see how ridiculous Reverend Frank's course is? She goes along with it all the entire time. She actually thinks it is helping their relationship. If my husband and I had to go through this course, we would've said "peace out" within the first few days and went to Jamaica to get married immediately...instead of enduring three weeks of excruciating agony and then eventually ending up in Jamaica. That Reverend is a crackpot, and if Sadie really was Ben's soul mate, she would've recognized that too. Not that Sadie and Ben aren't adorable together - I mean, look at how Ben finally reveals his vows to her...

*swoon*

But no one in their right mind would take that course seriously. I also don't like how the Reverend has them do all of these crazy things, and the ONLY person sane enough to question it is Ben. I guess that just shows how blind the Christian faith can be sometimes. They don't question their religious figures. Ben and Sadie go into one of their first meetings saying that they have never had a fight, and the Reverend says that's ridiculous. He then proceeds to make them fight about something insignificant, and it begins to tear them apart. WHY IS NO ONE QUESTIONING THIS? I know, I know. It's a movie, and yes, it makes for some hilarious scenes; however, if this was real-life, that crazy old man would be pulled out of that church pronto. Just sayin'. 

Overall, I really love this movie. If you have not seen it, I apologize for ruining it all, but you still need to watch it. I can't do the comedy justice by just writing about it - you have to watch it for yourself. I promise, you will not regret watching it.

I give License to Wed 4 out of 5 stars.